Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize