yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Randomize
