I CAN MOONWALK!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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