Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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