but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
