around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
