New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
