3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
