And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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