his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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