i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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