so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
