I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
