Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
A bitchslap is in order.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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