Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
