i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize