I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
