id be glad to
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize