just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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