yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize