Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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