But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize