he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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