I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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