Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
