420 ftw
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize