A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We got so high we made milksteak
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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