yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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