so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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