What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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