people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
