we're chasing vodka with high fives
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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