i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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