He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
