We won't sleep together?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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