I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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