If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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