well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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