just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
