He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this boner is exhausting
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There r osticjed everywhere
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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