Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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