nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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