I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize