I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
