wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
