You're so nebulous sometimes
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
