That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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