it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
