I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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