yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
