i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
