I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize