Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
