it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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