She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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