There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
