I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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