just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
