Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
