Yo dont text me then not text me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
