So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
