is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
