Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
