69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
