Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
