I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
