I have demons in me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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