I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
