U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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