He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
