I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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