thus making me awesome and them whores
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
