Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
