when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize