Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
